ask ELLA MAE Ella Mae Gogel CEC-TAG Parent Committee Chair

Some Things Parents Can Do for Their Children

Love and accept them the way they are. Take time to really listen to and enjoy your gifted child. Laugh and have fun. Try to relax and eliminate some of the intensity, anxiety, self questioning, and guilt that I frequently notice in parents of the gifted. Check your attitude regularly:

• Do you think your child is better than his or her peers?
• Are you constantly talking about your child and quoting his or her test scores and I.Q.?
• Are you usually criticizing teachers, the principal the school system? Does your child hear you?
• When is the last time you told the school they were doing something very well?
• Have you offered your time, your skills and/ or resources to the school recently?
• Is the staff in your child's school happy to see you come, or is the word passed quickly, "Here she/he comes again"?

Be available to the school. Volunteer. Build good will and trust. Praise by letter or in person, the good you see. Don't have all the answers, rather be a resource person. Run for your local or intermediate school board. I know of one small school district that provided programs for gifted and talented only after three of the five school board members were replaced by the political action of parents whose children needed the programs.

Become informed on the subject of giftedness by reading journals and books, by attending inservices and conferences. Develop a speech on gifted and talented children and get it listed in your city's Chamber of Commerce Speaker's Directory. Be aware of all the myths and cliches regularly used to oppose programs for gifted and talented and develop an appropriate response. Write a speech that answers the myths. Give it. Become involved in the legislative movement in your state for funding for the gifted. Call your State Department of Public Instruction to find out what's being done. Many groups within your community will support your goals. I have found the American Association of University Women, League of Women Voters, P.T.A., Junior Leagues and church groups to be interested in gibed and talented education.

Have realistic expectations for your child. Don't expect giftedness every moment. Don't make comparisons with brothers, sisters and peers. This is unfair to all the children involved. Value their individual quantities and they will learn to do the same. Gifted children are not better, but different, with individual needs.

Keep a journal. Document your child's activities, statements and achievements. Record anecdotes. Keep a file of their creative work. This will relieve some of your energies and the urge you feel to share the knowledge of your child's gifts and skills with everyone you meet. This documentation and file also becomes a valuable resource for future teachers and for your child to enjoy as he/she gets older.

Make resources available to your child. Show a genuine interest, but do not push. Be sure the interests you are encouraging are the child's interests and not those you would wish him or her to have.

Understand your child's strengths and weaknesses. Help him or her to organize, set priorities and plan. These are skills gifted children sometimes lack.

Be a flexible, warm responsive, creative, inquiring, happy parent, and do everything to stay healthy. You'll need all the energy you can generate.